Hi hello, for possibly the last time. It's ya boi 4, Lucia, back at it again with... just some parting words. I don't have much to say in terms of new insights on fruits in Japan. I think I've already covered what I wanted to cover in my previous blog posts. Sorry if you were dying to find out more about the riveting differences in the culture surrounding fruits.
I think this entry will be more of a reflection on how this whole trip has been. I think it's pretty fitting that I write this entry now, given that my flight back home is tomorrow. In sooth, I deeply feel attached to Japan now. A part of me doesn't want to leave, and thinking about going home triggers some mixed feelings.
Without a shred of doubt, the food in Japan is pretty outstanding, but I miss my parents' cooking. I miss my family and friends back home. I'm not used to being away from them for so long, but...
I've had a wonderful time here in Japan. Not only have I made incredible friends in this program, but I genuinely feel like my Japanese skills have improved, even if just by a little. I find that my listening comprehension has improved most significantly, but I also gained some confidence.
Speaking of confidence, in class, we were to identify what kind of personality we thought we had and to share what our aim was for this semester. I said that I was somewhat of a shy person and that I was hoping to gain more confidence. At the time I shared this with my peers, this confidence was more in reference to my Japanese conversational skills. I didn't want to be hindered by acknowledging my limitations. I wanted to brave human interactions in Japanese and be experimental with my grammar and... and just get a little bit closer to becoming fluent.
And, indeed, I do believe a part of that dream was fulfilled throughout this trip.
But more so than that, I feel like I gained confidence in other areas of my life as well. Back at home, I don't hardly ever eat out because I get anxiety when talking to cashier or waiter/waitresses. In fact, I feel like I seldom leave the house at all. I've gotten better over the last few years or so, but... but in Japan, it's totally different. I find that I can order for myself and for my friends, and there's... very little stress.
The other day, I was dressed in a yukata for a farewell ceremony. but I was super hungry. Another friend was also hungry so we trekked to the cafeteria in another building and ate curry. When I was paying for it, the cashier lady commented on my yukata and I readily told her it was for a farewell ceremony. I think at that point, literally on my last day, I realised how far I had come on my journey of learning Japanese.
Just yesterday, I was buying something for my mum and after the standard exchange between cashier and customer, the cashier asked me if I was living in Japan. I told him I wasn't, and he complimented my Japanese. I guess I have been hearing similar compliments throughout my time here, but the giddiness of being called 上手 doesn't fade. I think Japanese people somewhat admire the foreigner's effort to pick up the language, and I appreciate this somewhat of admiration.
Ah, but perhaps I'm being a little biased. On the day I left the dorm, another dormmate, an RA, tried talking to me. I couldn't pick up 100% of what he was saying, and even if I understood his question, I wasn't equipped with the vocabulary to properly reply. After a bit of struggling on my part, he said, "Thanks, Lucia." I thought this didn't fit the conversation at all. When I asked him why he thanked me, he said that he appreciates me always trying to communicate. He thanked me for my effort. That... made me quite happy. I have a long way to go, but as long as I keep going, I'll get there eventually, ね？
Japanese fluency, watch out! I'm coming for you.
Boi 4, out.
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